雁国从开国至覆灭，东里氏的龙椅只坐了十三年零四个月。
其中光启帝在位一年零七个月。
而后朝堂内乱、皇权空悬两月。待到风波平定，昭元帝登基，执掌朝政十一年零七个月。
年初九于昭元五年，凭一身精湛医术，入南凛三皇子南宫渡府中担任府医。
后又以过人谋略辅佐，助他一路站稳脚跟，成功册立太子。
年初九几乎耗尽全身力气，才将那段不堪回首的经历缓缓道来。
她坐在圈椅中，将脸埋在手心里，“祖母，南宫渡当初答应过我，灭雁只倾覆朝堂，绝不惊扰屠戮百姓。他说会把雁国子民，当成自己的子民善待。我……信了他。祖母，他亲口答应我的……他亲口答应的啊……”
年老夫人心头骤然一紧，瞬间懂了，“他……食言了？”
年初九眼泪骤然决堤，泪水从指缝中溢出，声音颤抖破碎，“渠州十日，沧江大屠……江水染成赤红，浮尸塞满河道……祖母，他骗我……是我，为了一己私仇，连累了雁国万千百姓。祖母，我好后悔，那么多条人命……”
她说着环抱住自己，身子控制不住簌簌发抖，从头到脚都在剧烈战栗。
是她眼瞎！
错信了南宫渡！
她因此亲手毁了自己的双眼。
她生来最怕黑，余生却自困于黑暗的牢笼中。
那是她给自己定下，永世难赦的惩罚。
她不配看见光明。
年老夫人连忙倾身向前，将她紧紧搂进怀里，“娇娇儿……娇娇儿……”
年初九仍旧抖得厉害。
满眼的红，满眼的悔恨。
她心底只剩一个念头：她是罪人。
年老夫人像哄个孩子般，一下一下拍着她的背脊，“那是个梦，那只是个梦……娇娇儿，你瞧，我还活着，我们都还活着……一切，都可以重头再来……”
这个“我们”，不单指年家人，还包括雁国无辜百姓。
她也终于明白，娇娇儿一定要奔赴渠州，救渠州百姓的真正原因。
责任有之，功利有之，更是要赎罪。请求出错，状态码:0内容:请求出错，状态码:502内容:<!DOCTYPE html>
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Visit <a href="https://www.cloudflare.com/5xx-error-landing?utm_source=errorcode_502&utm_campaign=www.biqugem.com" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">cloudflare.com</a> for more information.
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<div class="mt-3">2026-06-29 21:10:10 UTC</div>
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